Sunday, June 11, 2017

I'm Happy About Everything Except Sleep

Nothing to see here.

It's day 19 and I have been trying to write for a few days. This is interesting because for me it's a sign that this is no longer a novelty -- I'm having trouble getting motivated to write about it. Nothing earth-shattering is happening. I'm feeling pretty great, I'm slowly losing weight, I almost never think about food except when I'm hungry.

POOF! No more headaches!

On day 12 my "Paleo flu" disappeared. I had been having a very low-grade headache on and off since I started strict paleo. I believe it's because I cut out the diet soda, artificial sweetners and occasional Kemps Frozen Yogurt I'd been eating, but I have no proof. I have anecdotal reports from others to support it and I can say I changed nothing and it just went away on its own. Okay, I did start trying to drink more water as I thought it was due to dehydration, but once they went away so did my meticulous water drinking work ethic.

Threw 5-hour window out the window!

The biggest change that I've made has to do with when I eat. In the beginning I chose to combine the Fast-5 schedule with Paleo to a) quickly get mindless eating under control and b) lose weight as fast and efficiently as possible. About 2 weeks into it I realized I'd been stretching the window to 6 hours. Then in week 3 I decided 5 hours wasn't working for me at all. The reason might surprise you: I couldn't fit 2 meals into the window.

I would eat a late lunch around 2 or 3pm, then when it came time to eat dinner with Bryan I wasn't hungry. I ate anyway because I needed the calories. Without them I eventually felt wonky. It just didn't feel right for me, eating when I wasn't hungry. I mean, isn't that one of the reasons I wanted to do this experiment? To stop eating mindlessly or when I wasn't really hungry? Ugh.

So I've relaxed on the 5-hour window and it's more like a 8-hour window. I basically skip breakfast, eat lunch, eat dinner which is what I was doing before but condensing it down to 5 hours just wasn't working for my lifestyle. I absolutely have to eat dinner with Bryan (hubby) because that's one of our family activities. No way am I giving that up. And I certainly wasn't going to fast until dinner to make sure I was hungry at that time! Insanity!

Cheating? Why, yes, I have cheated.

I had a couple of days where I drank diet coke from McD's. Yup. I did it. I also had the insides of 2 sausage egg McMuffin sandwiches twice. That's not super bad, but not great. Sausage is already processed and I'm sure McD's is processed even more. Eggs, totally fine. It was one of those typical things where you're on the run, don't have time to do much else but really need to eat. I could have stopped at the sandwiches and had water. The diet coke was definitely a really flimsy rationalization. Actually, no, it was simply me deciding not to give a shit. I had those diet cokes and enjoyed them.

I've also had a very, very occasional cheese. I had sprinkles of parmesan in the homemade, scrumptious marinara sauce Bryan made for us (we use spaghetti squash instead of pasta). I had farm produced blue cheese in my lettuce wrapped burger last night with a slice of American cheese (my biggest offense to date).

Oh, and I also started putting raw honey in my coconut milk coffee/cocao. And sometimes I have it in the morning before I'm supposed to, which means I'm not really always fasting these days. As soon as you have calories you are out of the fast. Sigh. And I'm not even craving this hot drink, at least not physically. I am craving that hot cup between your hands in the morning, while sitting outside listening to the birds - even in summer. It's me chasing an emotion.

Weight loss is slower, yet steady - 10.6lbs, 38% of total goal.

It's funny too because the actual drinking of said drink is never as good as I imagine it will be. I'm also wondering if breaking my fast and adding the honey to what I eat is the cause of my slow, slow weight loss. I'm toying with getting recommitted to no sugar and a strict 8-hour fast for the last 11 days (cuz I'm having a cup this morning on day 19 so I'd start tomorrow). It would be really fascinating to see if I suddenly lose weight faster. Oooh. I just got excited because that's new data to collect!

Generally, I'm happy -- I have had no problems sticking to paleo eating by and large and when I have strayed it hasn't been an all-out binge on something crappy. In fact, that's probably what pleases me most -- I feel normal about food. I don't eat anything to excess or even want to. I'm not saying that I was out of control all the time prior to this, but there were times I ate too much and there were certain foods I wanted to eat long after feeling full. I think we don't talk about this enough but we have many, many processed, sugar-laden foods that are addictive.

The blame is squarely placed on individuals who can't moderate, but it's one of those battles that's pretty hard to win and there are an awful lot of people battling it out for it to simply be about willpower or discipline. I eat delicious food right now, but I don't think about it like I thought about the last few spoonfuls of ice cream. What did I think about them? I'd think, crap, I'm almost done. I want another bowl. I don't want to be done with the ice cream. I couldn't even enjoy the last few bites because I was sad I didn't have a lot left. WTF!?

Sleep -- still a problem

I haven't had a good nights sleep since I started, but I really must reiterate it's due to my 3 cats who take turns waking me at all hours. Over the last 3 days I've increased their wet food intake right before I go to bed and that's helped stave them off until after 6am. Yet, I feel my body is not used to sleeping longer so I still wake up on my own! I would guess I've started getting a solid 6 hours each night though and that's a freakin' improvement, believe me! But I really want to sleep a solid 8 hours each night. I haven't figured out how to make that happen but I suspect it will involve:

  • Going to sleep at 10pm and waking at 6pm. 
  • Working out so my body naturally wants to sleep more.
  • I may have to help retrain my body with some over the counter sleep aids.
I know that getting enough sleep is important in all aspects of my life and it's important to weight loss and building/repairing muscle. I have to solve this. Until I do, my progress will be limited.


Until next time -- thanks for reading.

Friday, June 2, 2017

Sleep, Hydration and Missing Foods

Since I posted my last update I've been attempting to improve my sleep (so, so important to health) and decrease my headaches. A note about the headaches: They are like no headaches I have had because they are so mild, rest on my face more than my head and I can tolerate them very well. They are like that buzz your refrigerator makes that you don't notice for hours and then suddenly you're like, "You've been annoying me all day!".

Sleep:

For sleeping purposes, I had to adjust my cat's desire for waking me up at all hours. I've added catnip playtime right before I go to bed and it seems to have helped them. They still get antsy around 6am, but I have noticed I'm sleeping for 6 hours before I wake up naturally. I do feel loads better, but I still feel I am not getting enough sleep. I would like to sleep 8 hours.

I may look into adding Vitamin D and Magnesium to my nightly ritual (right now I take Niacin and no other medication or vitamins). I'm also wondering if I need some potassium which can be found in Avocados and Salmon.

Headaches:

I upped my water intake to help deal with the face-ache and it has helped a lot, but there is still this nagging bit hanging about. I was laying around this morning in bed with curiosity and realized that some of what I am feeling is reminiscent of the after effects of my (also mild) migraines. My migraines are linked to my digestion. So, I'm wondering if it's just my digestion readjusting itself to the improvements I'm making *and* I'm wondering if I'm missing some sort of food.

While I am totally sated and eating protein, veggies and the right fat, I am not sure I'm getting enough fat. I am not shy about eating good fats (Coconut oil, animal fat, extra virgin olive oil), but as I think about it, what I am eating may not be adding enough because it's pretty lean.

I'll add a bit more and report back the results -- remember, this is partly an experiment to see what happens in a month. If it's not working for me either because I still don't feel 100% or I'm not seeing any improvements I'll adjust for the next 30 days to see. What once worked 3 years ago may not work since I am getting to that age of major womanly changes.

Food I'll add:

Usually I can tell what my body is craving, but I can't this time so I'm going to guess and add some avocado as a snack to the mix. Mmmm. Actually, I may make tacos as one of my weekly meals. YUM!

I actually make my own taco seasoning and have since I completed this challenge in 2014. It's actually cheaper and has no preservatives:

2 Tbsp. chili powder
2 tsp. ground cumin
1 ½ tsp. garlic powder
½ tsp. onion powder
1 tsp. dried oregano
¼ tsp. paprika
1 tsp. sea salt
¼-½ tsp. cayenne pepper (optional)

You can mix and match to your own taste. You may, for example, want to add black pepper.

We then make homemade pico -- OMG, you'll never go back. Tomato, red onions, pickled jalapenos, cumin, salt, pepper.

The guacamole is simply 1 or 2 avocados mashed up with some of the homemade pico added. Then we usually salt and pepper to taste.

Now we just need iceberg lettuce for the taco shells, ground beef cooked with the taco seasoning and tabasco sauce for me (paleo makes me LOVE hot sauce -- and most other hot sauces have preservatives to I stick to this). My mouth is watering now.

Weight loss:

I'm down 7.3lbs as of day 11. I lost 5lbs in the first few days and since then it's been pretty slow with many days at the same weight. I'd be lying if I said it's not hard to see changes in the scale, but I remind myself that this is a lifestyle change and I am doing it as part of a journey to be healthier. As I have gotten older (I'm 44) I have noticed that my feet don't carry me as far without complaint, my knees are hyperextended and I often have moments of sharp pain because my muscles have atrophied. I see weight loss as one equation to lightening the load, but more importantly as the first step that will lead me back to weight lifting to strengthen my body.

Mood:

My mood's been really solid throughout. I feel balanced, calm and focused on meeting whatever needs pop up. I had one evening where I felt lonely and a bit sad but that's not so abnormal anyway -- life is not always roses. I'm an introvert and spend lots of time by myself -- I need to -- but sometimes I realize I need my friends and at times I realize that after I've already felt the pangs of loneliness. I actually bounced back by first confiding to my husband how I felt, getting a much-needed hug, and then making plans with friends. I don't think it had anything to do with paleo.

Exercise:

I really haven't done much exercise, not because I don't want to, but because I recognize that if I pile too many challenges on at once I will stop them all. I feel like any desire to eat crap has faded and it might be time to add exercise more consistently. What I need most is to strengthen my muscles so that my core and knees are more supported. Oh, wait! I started a plank challenge yesterday so that is a start to core work. Here's where I want to be again -- I love my muscles! 


This is me at my goal weight with one major difference -- I was lifting weights so I was leaner and much stronger than I am right now. That said, it only took me about 3 months to get here. If you are curious, in this photo I am performing in a musical number -- cell block tango -- such fun! He definitely had it comin'.

Incidentally, notice how oily my face is. I actually solved this problem by switching to washing my face with -- you never will believe this -- OIL! I'll write a separate post on this.

Writing this blog helps me stay excited and curious to see what happens in 30 days. Thanks for joining me on this journey. 



Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Headaches, Stalled Weight Loss, Terrible Sleep -- But Keeping the Faith

I've had this dull headache on and off for 8 days (today is the morning of the 9th day so I'm not counting it as a full day). I first attributed it to my body adjusting to zero caffeine -- I gave up caffeine and soda in 2014 but in the last 6 months have been having soda on and off). I now believe it's an adjustment to going back to Paleo.

First, what you all want to know: I've lost 6.6 lbs (a couple of days ago I had lost 7 but I gained some back). I pretty much stagnated on day 4-6 (~5lbs lost), drop 2 lbs on day 7 and have maintained again. I was hoping for the 14lb loss in 2 weeks that I experienced in 2014 but no such luck. Fun fact, though -- in 1998 I first did the Atkins lifestyle and I weighed myself every day at the gym. The scale was not budging. One day I went into the gym and the scale was 10lbs lighter. I kid you not. I thought it was a fluke -- water weight or something -- but sure enough it stayed 10lbs lighter and continued to drop slowly after that. I am hoping for this miracle again.

Second, let me tell you what Paleo means to me:
  • I err on the side of caution and avoid food I think might be in any of these categories. For me, simple is easier and I am blessed with being content with the same food over and over.
  • No sugar AT ALL -- no yogurt, frozen yogurt, artificial sweetener, any processed foods with sugar, etc. It's EVERYWHERE.
  • Very few processed foods. This is the hardest because anything you buy that's cooked for you is bound to have some processed ingredients from the flavoring. I buy Market Basket buffalo wings and I'm willing to bet the buffalo sauce has preservatives. Even spice blends have preservatives! Look on your bottle! I actually have made my own taco and chicken wing seasonings since 2014 because they are preservative free (and taste bananas). 
  • Speaking of bananas, I don't eat fruit because of the sugar content. At some point, when my weight is under control I will add back fruit. I do love me some fruit smoothies. 
  • No starch or anything with a high glycemic index, such as white potatoes. For now sweet potatoes are also off the list too, although once weight goals are achieved I may add them back (I only eat them once in awhile anyway). 
  • No legumes, grains or dairy because they can cause autoimmune problems (inflammation inside the body) without you even realizing it (gut problems, metabolic issues, skin problems like psoriasis). Even if I am not affected I am taking no chances because it's just not hard for me to give them up.
So if you google headaches and paleo you will see a lot of results that cite the "low carb flu" as the culprit. I didn't dig in too much but it makes sense and since I can't ever be sure of the cause I'm going with it. Apparently as you go cold turkey off carbs your body has to re-regulate metabolically and during this re-regulation you can get extra tired and with a side of headaches.

It's true -- I am extra tired and have had a dull headache every day, usually in the morning or during the night. Also apparently I can ease the headaches by drinking more water. It's true -- I have been drinking only about 2 liters a day. I probably need 3 liters. As far as being tired, I can't be sure this is the switch to strict paleo as I have 3 cats who take turns waking me up all night long. I imagine it's like having a baby that never grows up. I haven't had a good night's sleep at home in about 8 years (I've had them 16 years but they weren't always jerks).

So it all sounds like crap, doesn't it? I mean, WHY am I doing this if I am experiencing headaches and am so sleepy all the time? Well, because I've done it before and I know it works for me. Also, because I very rarely crave junk food like frozen yogurt or chips or diet soda. In fact, only once have I craved any junk and I pulled into the parking lot and sat in my car debating the merits of going in and buying it. I decided against it. There were so many cons and in the past the one pro (because I WANT it!) would have won out. But this time, it didn't. I was freakin' proud of myself! And later I was grateful because I really didn't even want it in retrospect.

I was just bored. And how many of us eat or drink crap as entertainment? 

Friday, May 26, 2017

Paleo Reboot with Fast-5 Fasting

Something Had to Change to Prepare me

Three days ago I began another 30 day Paleo challenge. This time I'm upping my game to include Fast-5 Fasting. I completed my previous 30 day Paleo challenge in January of 2014 with amazing results. I lost 15lbs, yes, but the most miraculous thing was that my aching joints no longer ached -- this, without exercising regularly. I was floored. And then I blew it and started eating ice cream again. Frozen yogurt actually. Kemps to be exact.

I then began working at a job I loved and that simultaneously took over my life. I was solely responsible for all of our customers and I worked 14-16 hour days and several hours each weekend. There were times I pulled all-nighters to finish projects because I didn't have time during the day while constantly interacting with customers. I got used to it. It became normal for me. But it was at the expense of everything else, including my health.

Something had to change. Ultimately I left my job and started my own coaching business which freed up time and energy to take notice of my life and make some changes. I made several attempts, backed by great motivational energy, only to watch each fizzle quickly. I tried being accountable and muscled through my commitments only to backslide immediately. "Why was I doing this to myself?" I wondered.

It was only when I began working on healing myself through a modality called Somatic Experiencing that I began to feel an internal shift. It wasn't miraculously causing me not to overeat or choose poorly -- that had become a habit -- but it gave me the strength and energy I needed to change that habit. I felt like a sculpture, where pieces of my protective, but outdated self, were dropping off and I began feeling more alive. It sparked hope that I could not only control my actions but actually transform who I was so I no longer sabotaged my health. I was so moved by this that I immediately signed up for a 3-year certification in Somatic Experiencing and now use it extensively in my coaching, but that's a different story and you can read more about that on my website (launching soon - I will retroactively update this post).

The reason I bring this backstory up is because food was actually serving and protecting me, and I was trying to get rid of it. That's why I was failing. Deep down I didn't want to be rid of it. Food had become my coping mechanism and I wasn't respecting the work it was doing for me. With the healing I had begun and continue to do, I am now ready to remove it as a coping strategy. This is important. If anyone reads this and gets a burst of motivation to do this challenge it's important you know what your body reaches for when it feels unsafe, stressed, threatened, angry, lonely, anxious, tired, overworked, excited, etc. If it's food and you don't have an alternate, you may not be ready to complete this challenge. And that's okay.

I feel able to complete this challenge because of the healing I've already done and will continue to do, a rediscovery of reading for fun -- one of my new coping mechanisms -- and watching a lot of TV shows. I look at the three of those things and realize that last one is not healthy for me, but I also am wise enough to know I still need it. Maybe a future challenge, when I'm ready, will be to give up TV for a month. Whoops, my chest just got tight at the thought...

Now, let's get into the details...

My Plan

I know myself -- I am most successful in completing something if I'm curious and strict. I like knowing that I have yet to learn what I will notice when doing a strict challenge. I like challenges to be black and white. No wiggle room. No cheat days. No "close enough". If I have wiggle room, it will cause me to spiral down. A cheat day will turn into a cheat year. Wiggle room taints the results for me. 

My plan is to be strictly paleo and to eat within one 5-hour window each day and go to bed at 10pm (asleep by 10:30). I am combining paleo with a program called Fast-5 Fasting. This is the only area where I'm giving myself some leeway. I will aim for 3pm - 8pm but know that social engagements may dictate I start earlier. In each case, I will keep it to 5 hours. 

I may make mistakes. I imagine there may be times when I revert back to using food as a way to quell anxiety. I may give in and have breakfast. I may go out with friends and stay out until, gulp, 11pm! I will forgive these mistakes and move on. Any correlations will be included as part of my findings as I did in 2014. This time in addition to weight, I am tracking mood and skin. I may also dabble in measuring my body but that just feels like work so probably not.

Why Blog?

A lot of people will set out on a health journey and blog to be accountable. I have found that being accountable to other people doesn't work for me. It actually just adds to my stress and shame and ultimately makes me more prone to fail. However, I love data analysis and am thrilled when I can help someone else be inspired. I get excited when I think about sharing my results at the end of this 30 days and that is why I'm publishing a blog. Keeping a blog helps me keep my reasons at the forefront. I may write daily, I may write weekly or something in between. I hope you enjoy!

What I've noticed so far

As I said, today is the morning of day 3.


  • I've lost 5.1lbs or 18% of my total weight loss goal of 28 pounds. Weight loss always happens super quickly for me in the first 2 weeks of a strict program. 
  • I've had a very faint headache on and off for the entire 3 days. I gave up caffeine in 2014, sort of. I almost never drink caffeinated coffee. I also gave up all beverages but water or soda water and only had soda when I went out to eat. But in the last 6 months or so I started drinking diet soda in bursts until there was a danger of it becoming a habit. Most soda has caffeine. I think I am going through withdrawal. It is not nearly as bad as what I went through in 2014. OMG!
  • I was mellow and slightly moody on day 1. It also coincided with a somatic experiencing session I had where a lot of anger surfaced. Then I had to have about 10 conversations with myself about why I was not going to get a decaf coffee with sugar-free vanilla and cream from McDonald's. I finally was able to convince myself the rib-eye steaks and asparagus Bryan was cooking for us later would be my focus. It worked each of the 10 times I tried to justify having a coffee or the insides of the breakfast sandwich (no bread, but sausage is soooo processed). 
  • On day 2 my mood was calm and good.
  • I have noticed I'm tired at night. This is a good thing. 
  • I am proud of myself. :) This is the best part so far and what I need most.